A Baby’s Coming: Advice for the Dog

How to avoid banishment—a frenemy’s letter lays out the rules.
When the humans decide to have a baby, the family dog’s world dramatically changes. Following is a translation of a letter that Tipsy, the cat who lives with the soon-to-be grandma, wrote to Emi, the 12-year-old dog who’s the best pal of the soon-to-be mom.

Dear Emi …

I hear there’s a new little one coming to your house. Before the arrival of “the blessed event,” I thought I’d give you some advice.



Our first love is food. The good news: All food that falls on the floor is fair game. The bad news: You cannot take food from the baby’s hand even if it’s dangled in front of you. You will be banished.



The baby has toys, you have toys. Do not take the baby’s toys. Do not bite them. Do not lick them. You will be banished.


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