Foster Mom Creates Hilarious, F-Bomb-Packed Adoption Advertisement For ‘Hellion’ Dog Named Hank

Houston foster dog mom Christine Clauder is desperate to find the perfect home for her foster dog, Hank — so much that she created a hilarious, expletive-packed website highlighting his maxed-out antics and energy. 

The Siberian Black Mouth Cur is currently up for adoption, and Clauder is hoping to find his forever home — and fast. The website is titled “please adopt this hellion,” and features information about the overactive pooch. 

“Trying to get this dog adopted has been like trying to find a Tickle-Me-Elmo during Christmas ’96,” the website states. “His foster mom has several other critters which are tiny. After experiencing his always-on personality, they’re JUST NOT HERE FOR IT. We’re all tired of Hank. Not because we don’t love him, we’re just TIRED. It’s like he drank ALL OF OUR COFFEE.”

The website is packed with photos of Hank, who has bright blue eyes like the ocean. It’s also packed with plenty of F-bombs. 

Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

“When he’s not being a destructive [expletive], he’s actually pretty cute,” the website adds. 

For those who might take the silly website the wrong way, Clauder included a disclaimer at the top to let viewers know that the information on the website is “highly exaggerated for comical effect.”

“The kind of people put off by it would not be a good match for him,” Clauder said on the site. “I’m not saying that you HAVE to enjoy cursing, but Hank is not for the faint of heart. My goal is not JUST to get him adopted – if it was, I could have played up his beautifully unique eyes, happy-go-lucky goofiness, and complete loyalty – but the ultimate goal is a lifetime match.”

This isn’t the first time that a desperate foster mom has taken the brutally honest route to try to get a dog adopted. Earlier this year, Prancer the Chihuahua was described as a “haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog that hates men and children” in his adoption advertisement — and it actually helped him find the perfect forever home in the long run. 

The website that Clauder created has already gotten Hank a ton of attention. As a result, several interested people have gotten in touch with her to find out more about adopting Hank. 

Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

His high-energy antics include being a velcro dog that’s so loyal he’ll never leave your side. 

“Cooking?” the website asks. “He’ll f— stand in between your legs and trip you up while you’re holding knives.”

The adoption advertisement also states that Hank is already neutered — because “nobody needs to be subjected to any of his hellspawn.”

The hilarious, tongue-in-cheek adoption advertisement is gaining traction online. With enough views, Clauder is hopeful that Hank will find the perfect forever home.

Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

Someone who is active and has plenty of yard space for the hyper dog to run around and burn off energy would be perfect for Hank. 

Hank is available for adoption through Friends for Life Animal Shelter in Houston — but with any luck, he will hit the ground running to his forever home before he knows it. 

H/T: Yahoo

Featured Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

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